The brutally honest version of a cover letter from a stay at home mom
So, moving from Washington DC to Austin has it’s perks. Lower cost of living, warmer weather and more tacos! (A taco truck on every corner is my version of the American Dream.) Another perk is that I can actually afford to take a job in the non-profit sector. Childcare costs in DC were so overwhelming to me (as in I literally might not have had take home pay if I took a job here in DC) that I opted to take some time and enjoy Ooey’s transition to toddlerhood. I’ve applied to one job and plan to go full force on the hunt when we are actually in Austin (and not packing as I should be doing now).
Having now been both a stay at home mom and a working mom I can say, there are pros and cons to both. But I’m getting to a point where I need some space, I love my child but she’s no longer a baby and she would do just fine in a daycare or pre-school setting.
I have more than a little anxiety about being on the job market after taking some time off. And I know from playground chit-chat that I’m not the only one. I know that someone will hire me, it’s happened before and it will happen again. But in the meantime I thought it would be funny to share my brutally honest cover letter. There is some humor at the intersection of anxiety, workplace and motherhood.
1900 Bathroom Door is Always Open Lane, Austin, Texas
November, 1st 2017
Jane Wellrested Doe
1800 Pee by Yourself Lane
I’m writing today to express my interest in any position. For the love of all things good, please hire me. At one time I had a 9-5 job where I could pee by myself and talk in complete sentences. I took some time off from the workforce to nurture my baby, who has blossomed into a tyrannical energizer bunny. I would love to be amongst adults all day, everyday. I promise I will be the most enthusiastic, go gettery person on your team.
My favorite jobs have been those in which I am working outside of the home. I used to be really fussy, and have very high standards for employment. Spending almost two years at my toddler’s beck and call have broken me. I will do anything, seriously. If I can spend my days in a climate controlled building, drinking coffee while it’s still hot and avoid being yelled at and tugged on all day long, I will be happy. I will go to every meeting and put out every fire you throw at me- as long as I don’t have to do it covered in spit up and playdough.
I believe I can be an asset to your company with the background skills that I possess. I am really excited at the prospect of filling this role. I would love a job that allows me to have some personal space and time away from the baby boss that I lovingly call my child.
I would love to discuss this role further and if you have any questions please contact me, I can be reached directly by phone at 555-555-5555.